Toms' 10 pick-up lines
Submitted by Tom

He didn't give away the special kid one and a few others out of his best working collection of pickup lines...



1. Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to
be.

2. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

3. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock!

4. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one
talking to you.

5. Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you
treat me right, and I'll do it your way.

6. Excuse me, do you have your phone number, I seem to have lost
mine.

7. I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went
into this cheap motel room.

8. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

9. If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be
McGorgeous.

10. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a
light switch away

:lol:

Those are actually much better than the ones he uses. I am sure now that he will probably try everone of the on that list. His real ones that I have heard him attempt to use in person are below.

1.Are your parents retarded? - Because you are so special.

2.Did it hurt? - When you fell from Heaven.

3. Are you tired? - Because you have been running through my mind all night.

And the worst one ever..

4. Baby, you have the ass of a 5 year old boy.

He actually said that!!??!!! :lol: :lol:

On more than one occasion even.

Tom : Hey baby wanna graba pizza and fuck?
Girl : Go Away creap
Tom : What? Don't you like Pizza?

:lol: That's funny as hell! :lol:

Yep, that would be Tom!

Good stuff! i gotta see this in person sometime!

LMFAO, yeah ive said most of those, but they were mostly as jokes.
dont forget the following
Baby that sweater/shirt is very becoming on you, although if i were on you id be coming too.
Nice shoes wanna fuck.
Hey cutie lets do some math. add you and me, a bed, (minus your boyfriend) divide the legs and ill multiply.

this ones for nash.... baby your ass feels like 2 pillows. inside joke.

Damn I forgot about that. I need to change my signature!

TOM: Hey baby, the word of the day today is legs.
GIRL: And your point, ass...
TOM: Let's go back to my house and spread the word!!!

Hey baby, nice pants. Can I talk ya out of them?

Imay not know who this TOM guy is but i would like to associate with him... because he must get all the chicks... I think i crapped myself when he asked if her parents were retarded!.... that doesn't make me retrded does it??

im tom, but when i asked if her parents were retarded to a whole table of girls they all just became very silent. then i asked if they wanted to hear the joke of the day, they replied with a quick "you are the joke of the day" i hung my head in shame and sat back down at the table with raptor and swanny at perkins.

P.S. i do get all the chicks (dont tell my girlfriend) LOL JK

Haha, some great stuff there Tom!

I still remember at the swap (khad and ricky mainly) last summer when you and dane (i think) went out for pop, then came back saying how you yelled across cars to a girl if she likes big dick. Her mom was apparently in the other seat too :lol: .

Some details are probably wrong but it's still funny.

it was me and rickey, he was embarrased, i figured that if the mom was interested she could come too. lol

Rickey got embarassed?! :secret:

Im amazed, I never thought high and mighty Rickey could get embarassed

yeah thats what i thought, i thought he would be there right with me hollerin at the girls but i guess hes not man enough. OHHHHHHHHH DISS. lol

Rickeys a puss. Just Playin, now when Im over again at his house, he gonna whoop my ass.....again.

If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!

Do you want to see something swell?

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

Have I seen you before? Oh, yeah, I remember - it was in the dictionary under the word HOT MAMA HUBBA HUBBA!

Hey I'm looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?

If I flip a coin, what do you reckon my chances are of getting head?

If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.

Is your name Summer? 'Cause you are as hot as hell.

Screw me if I'm wrong, but I could swear you were Julia Roberts.

You've been a bad, bad girl. Now go to my room!

Your Daddy must play the trumpet, cos he sure made me horny!

Do you have any German in you?
No I'm Irish.
Do you want some German in you?

Re: Toms Pickup Lines
 

some of the hit lines are genious, i would use half of them if i got the balls to say it to a chick that was half decent and not drunk - but if i were drunk - way different story.

Re: Toms Pickup Lines
 

That is some funny shit guys. I would never have the balls to say that shit to a girl.

Re: Toms Pickup Lines
 

hahaha!

Re: Toms Pickup Lines
 

Alright, here's a little feed back- FROM A GIRL.

What the fuck. haha Tom, I don't know how you ever get the girls, if any guy, no matter how hot he was ever said 1/2 those things to me, I'd laugh his ass of at him and make him feel like a dumb ass. haha But if it works for you go for it. But a note to the guys, watch what you say, some girls won't be afraid to give you a royal girly ass beating! ;) And I don't mean that in a sexual way!

Re: Toms Pickup Lines
 

Pfft, dont listen to ANYTHING tauni has to say! All I had to tell her was " bitch get to work" and the rest is history :)

Haha!!! Ow3ed

Re: Toms Pickup Lines
 

Yah right! I started "wrenchin" on that car by myself, remember?

I believe my words were something like "Can I help?" "What can I do?" "What do I do now" "Dammit, move you're in my spot of the car" "Where do I do this?"

There was no Josh saying NOW BITCH

Re: Toms Pickup Lines
 

What I was talking about had NOTHING to do with DSM's or cars ...

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Guys - this is some really funny shit. What's even funnier is that I took a printout of this last night and gave them to a buddy. He tried all night with every damn line !!! He got a lotta laughs, two slaps and actually got one to go home with him. And guess what - the dumbass doesn't know which line worked!! LOL!!

Re: Toms Pickup Lines
 

Then what was it? I don't remember anything else.

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hey uhh how do u like your eggs in the morning? fried, scrambled, or fertilized?

Re: Toms Pickup Lines
 

HAHA that one is bad but a good one.

Re: Toms Pickup Lines
 

I love how much this site loves me. LOL I dont usually use lines to pick up women, but if they are a friend of a friend that im interested those lines are *almost* guaranteed to get some sort of responce and break the ice (if they dont break your face instead)

Re: Toms Pickup Lines
 

wait wait wait, If i recall it worked on you that night we were both drunk, it was either that or my charming good looks and stamina.

ha ha ha i love starting rumors.

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1. Damn girl, is that a keg in your pants?...'Cause I'd love to tap that ass!

2. Can I touch your bellybutton... From the inside?

3. That outfit is very becoming on you, then again if I was on you I'd be cumming too.

Re: Toms Pickup Lines
 

It was the booze.

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Yeah right, you love my sexy body and you know it.

Re: Toms Pickup Lines
 

Beer googles.

Re: Toms Pickup Lines
 

Wait...

Smirnoff goggles.