:lol:

Moved to the "Joke Thread"

An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on board, but only 4
parachutes.

The 1st passenger said, "I am Kobe Bryant, the best NBA basketball player;
the Lakers need me, I can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and left
the plane.

The 2nd passenger, Hillary Clinton said, "I am the wife of the former U.S.
President, a NY State Senator and a potential future president. And I am the
smartest woman in American history, so America's people don't want me to
die", and she took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane.

The 3rd passenger, George W. Bush, said, "I'm the president of the United
States of America. I have great responsibility being the leader of a
superpower nation." So he grabbed the pack next to him and jumped.

The 4th passenger, the Pope, said to the 5th passenger, a 10 year old school
girl, "I am old and frail and don't have many years left, and as a Catholic,
I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute."

The girl said, "That's okay. There's a parachute left for you. America's
smartest woman took my schoolbag."

Blonde Moment:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA :lol:

What do you call a blonde that dues her hair black?


:bounce: Artificial Intelligence :bounce:

how did the blonde break her arm raking leaves?

she fell out of the tree.

How a blonde prints a document from her computer

A girl came skipping home from school one day.

"Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, "We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde?" the girl asked.

"Yes, It's because your blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids said up to D, but I said it up to G. See?
A,B,C,D,E,F,G!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"Yes, It's because your blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school.

"Mommy Mommy!" she yelled, "We were in gym class today, and when we were showering, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"

She lifted up her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.

"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm Blonde, Mommy?"

"No Honey, Its because you're 24."

HAHAHAHA :lol:

:lol:

Oh My god LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOOL

That is like the redneck joke just changed a little. Either way still funny i guess...

One day a guy meets this blonde for the first time and notices how cute she is, so he wants to talk to her. He walks up and starts talking with her and notices she's wearing some small headphones. So he ask if she would take them off so she could hear him better while he talked to her. She replied "Oh no, if I take them off I will die!". So to be funny he snatches them off her head and runs and she goes after him. After about a minute of chasing the guy she collapses and starts turning blue. So he gives her mouth to mouth resuscitation (or mouth to mouth recreation, which ever you prefer). As she comes to, she grabs the headphones back and says I told you I would die without these and puts them back on her head. Stuned the guy ask if he could listen to what she's listening to? She tells him he can listen, but for only a few seconds and must give them back. He agrees and she hands him the headphones. He puts them on his head and hears,
"Breath in,..... breath out,..... breath in,..... breath out,..... breath in,..... breath out,......................" :P

:lol: Ahahahahah!!!! :lol:

What does a blond and a computer have in common?

No one appreciates one until they go down on you.....

Why do blondes have Y shaped caskets?



Because whenever they lie on there back there legs spread apart.

A little Blonde girl runs up to her mom and shouts out "Mommy, Mommy I got five dollars today!" Her mom does a puzzled look and then says "How did you get that?"

The little girl smiles and says "Little Johny told me to do a cartweel while he was up in a tree" Her mom lowers her eyebrows and says in a firm voice "You know that Little Johny is only trying to see you underwear" "Ohhhhhhh!" Says the little girl and runs upstairs. The next morning she runs up to her mom and yells "Mommy, Mommy! I got ten dollars from Little Johny" "Hunny what did I tell you about..."

The little girl interuppts her and says "Listen mommy I didn't get him to look at my underwear today! He went up into a tree I did a cartwheel. Then he came down smiled and said Good job" "Why did he say that?"

said the little girls mom "I have no clue Mommy! I wasn't wearing any underwear today!"

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. Thewife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?"

The wife said, "I don't know; some woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."

Patti, a well-stacked blonde, sat on the examining table.

Dr Donovan placed his hand on her bare breast, "You know what I'm doing, don't you?" he asked.

"Yes," she murmured, "You're checking for breast cancer."

Donovan then began caressing her stomach. "Of course," he continued, "you know what I'm doing."

"Yes," she smiled. "You're checking my appendix."

By now the M.D. couldn't control himself any longer. He ripped off his clothes and began making love to her.

"You know what I'm doing, don't you?" he gasped.

"Yes," she replied. "You're checking for VD . . . and that's what I came here for."

A blonde tried to sell her old car.

She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it.

One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon.

The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car.

"Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic.

About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?"

"No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."