[Jakey]

A cowboy was herding cattle in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new BMW advanced out of a cloud of dust.



The driver, a young man in a YSL suit, Fendi shoes, Bvlgari sunglasses and an Armani tie leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"



The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peaceful grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not."



The yuppie parks his car, whips out his dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area into a high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg Germany.



Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data is stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex calculations, then uploads all of this data via an email on his Blackberry and after a few minutes, receives a response.



Finally he prints out a full color, 150 page report on his hi tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."



"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.



He watches the young man select on of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.



Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says "Okay, why not?"



"You're a consultant to the Kerry campaign." the cowboy says.



"Wow, that's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you know?"



"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you, you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know anything about my business.....



.....Now give me back my dog!"