MitsuStyle - View Single Post

INTRIGUED · 02-23-2006

75. Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
76. Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
77. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
78. When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
79. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
80. When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
81. Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
82. On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
83. Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
84. Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down!
85. In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
86. Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
87. Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
88. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris"
89. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
90. Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
91. If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
92. Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the othe nine faint.
93. The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
94. Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk.
95. You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
96. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
97. When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them
98. James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
99. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
100. Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
101. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

02-23-2006	#2
INTRIGUED insert witty title here Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: South Saint Paul, MN Drives: VW Gti Posts: 835	Re: 101 Chuck Norris Facts 75. Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around. 76. Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris. 77. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one. 78. When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score a 1600. 79. Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink. 80. When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face. 81. Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO. 82. On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun. 83. Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris. 84. Chuck Norris doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Chuck Norris throws down! 85. In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe. 86. Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth. 87. Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage. 88. Archeologists unearthed an old english dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined "victim" as "one who has encountered Chuck Norris" 89. Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. 90. Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building. 91. If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen. 92. Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the othe nine faint. 93. The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned. 94. Chuck Norris brings the noise AND the funk. 95. You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In actuality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you. 96. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. 97. When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them 98. James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger. 99. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer. 100. Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb. 101. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.