[AJ]

A couple brings their daughter to the office of an old southern doctor,and ask to speak in private to him about her.What's the problem the old doc asks?Well doc, the mother replies,our daughter is nearly 20 and nobody has ever asked her out on a date.The old doc says,well what do you want me to do?Well,the father repies,we think maybe our daugter has cronic bad breath or B.O. or something that's keeping her from getting dates.And we want you to examine her and see if you can figure out what it is?The old doc reluctantly agrees to see the girl and try to ease the worried parents minds.They go and get the girl, and the doc calls her into the examining room.
He looks at the girl,with a serious look on his face,muttering UH HMMM ,UH HMMM.He tells the girl to undress.She does and once again he looks and mutters UH HMM,UH HMM.He tells her to turn her back to him,and bend over.She does,and he says bend all the way over and look at me from in between your legs.She does as he says.AHHH HA!!! He exclaims!!I know what your problem is,you get dressed and I'll go talk to your folks.

The old doc goes to where the worried parents are seated and says,Ive figured out what the problem is with your daughter.OHH!! THANK HEAVENS!!,they exclaim. What is it they ask? Well, I'm afraid your daughter suffers from "Zactly" disease.OH!!NO!!What is "Zactly" disease,they ask?The old doc says,Well,I'm afraid your daughters face looks"Zactly" like her a$$.

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Nun Goes Fishing
One day a nun was fishing and caught a huge, strange looking fish. A man was walking by and said, "WOW!! What a nice Gauddam Fish!" The sister said, "Sir, you shouldn't use God's name in vain." The man said, "But that's the SPECIES of the fish --- a Gauddam Fish." The sister said, "Oh, ok."

The Sister took the fish back home and said, "Mother Superior, look at the Gauddam Fish I caught." Shocked, the Mother Superior said, "Sister, you know better than that." The nun said, "That's the species of it --- a Gauddam Fish." So the Mother Superior said, "Well, give me the Gauddam Fish and I'll clean it."

While she was cleaning the fish, Monsignor walked in and Mother Superior said, "Monsignor, look at the Gauddam Fish that the sister caught." Nearly fainting, Monsignor said, "Mother Superior, you shouldn"t talk like that!" Mother Superior said, "But that's the species of it --- a Gauddam Fish." Monsignor said, "Well give me the Gauddam Fish and I'll cook it."

That evening at supper there was a new priest at the table, and he said, "Wow, what a nice fish." In reply, the sister said, "Thank-you, I caught the Gauddam Fish." And Mother Superior said, "I cleaned the Gauddam Fish." And Monsignor said, "I cooked the Gauddam Fish."

The priest looked around in disbelief, quite shocked, and said...

"I LIKE THIS F***ING PLACE ALREADY!

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