I support the rebleeding theory/troubleshooting. If its connected to the brakes...how full is the reservoir right now?
Where is the car? Think you can limp it to my place? If not I have this thing called a functioning car and it has a trunk...I can bring some stuff over
You get the pizza & fluid, I'll come help. I'm up in fargo right now so it'd be a day or two, I'm sure you can find someone else that wouldn't mind lending a hand.