[Enes]

Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in
your pocket.

There are three kinds of men: The ones who learn by reading, the few
who learn by observation, and the rest of them have to pee on the
electric fence.

Good judgment comes from experience and a lot of that comes from
bad judgment.

If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then
to make sure it's still there.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.

***********
HANGOVER

Bill wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces
himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is
a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side
table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him,
all clean and pressed. Bill looks around the room and
sees that it is in a perfect order, spotless, clean. So's
the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices
a note on the table 'Honey, breakfast is on the stove,
I left early to go shopping. Love you.'

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is
a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son
is also at the table, eating.

Bill asks, 'Son, what happened last night?'

His son says, 'Well, you came home after 3 A.M.,
drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in
the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when
you stumbled into the door.'

Confused, Bill asks, 'So, why is everything in order and
so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?'

His son replies, 'Oh that! Mom dragged you to the
bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off
you said, 'Lady leave me alone, I'm married'!'

***********
Isn't this the truth........



HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN.( ISN'T THIS THE TRUTH ? )

* Wine her,
* Dine her,
* Call her,
* Hug her,
* Support her,

* Hold her,
* Surprise her,
* Compliment her,
* Smile at her,
* Listen to her,
* Laugh with her,
* Cry with her,

* Romance her,
* Encourage her,
* Believe in her,
* Pray with her,
* Pray for her, * Cuddle with her,
* Shop with her,
* Give her jewelry,
* Buy her flowers,
* Hold her hand,
* Write love letters to her,
* Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her.



HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN




* Show up naked... Bring food... Don't block the TV............




A bit long post but a few good one's