Had Shane at DB do a leakdown test tonight, results are far from stellar, but they tell the tale of why my car acts how it does.
Compression: 163, 180, 165, 140
Leakdown: 18%, 3%, 12%, 52%
1, 3 and 4 were clearly leaking out the exhaust. 4 was leaking so much that you could hear it going through the exhaust manifold and turbo and didn't even have to listen at the back of the car. 2 was perfect.