Official Joke Thread!

[1ViciousGSX]

Two men are in a bar getting drunk when suddenly one of them throws up all over himself. He says, "Oh No, the wife is goin to kill me". His friends says. "No worries, Mate, just tuck a 20 into your shirt pocket and tell your wife that someone puked on you and gave you 20 for the cleaning bill". So they stay for a couple of more hours getting even drunker.

Eventually the man staggers home and as soon as he opens the door is wife starts giving him a hard time. She says, "God you're disgusting! You reek of alcohol and you've thrown up all over yourself".

Speaking very slowly, so as to not slur, the man says, "You are mistaken. I only had one drink, but this other man at the bar got sick on me. He gave me 20 for the cleaning bill, just look in my pocket."

So she looks in his pocket and says, "This is 40 bucks".

"Ah yes," says the man, "He pissed in my pants too."