Official Joke Thread!

[goodhart]

A man and a woman walk into a bank and ask to see the manager. They are ushered in and the manager, despite his professionalism, can hardly keep his eyes off the bulging cleavage and perfect curves of the woman.
"Mr Wilson" says the man, "I have an investment proposition that needs $20,000. I presume, as I bank here, that will be no problem?"

Smugly the bank manager replies, "In banking, one should never assume Sir. I will need to ask a few questions and run a few checks."

"Here's the deal." says the man, leaning forward. "No questions. No checks. $20,000 today and I will let you have my wife for one night and one night only to do whatever you want. And she is very... adventurous."

Once again Mr Wilson mentally undresses the woman, licks his lips, loosens his tie and becomes flustered. After a few moments he buzzes in his secretary and they draw up the paperwork. He arranges to bring the money to the executive suite of the Radisson hotel at 7 o'clock that evening.

At ten to seven, Mr Wilson nervously enters the hotel lobby and takes the lift to the 17th floor. He knocks shyly on the door of the suite and it is answered by the woman in a low cut short red dress and heels.

"Mr Wilson" she purrs. "Have you got the money?"

The bank manager shakily hands her an envelope.

She smiles. "Then come in."

He follows the woman into the room and stops in shock. Lying on the bed is a hideously ugly woman in faded grey underwear eating a pie. At least in her 50s, she lies in a provocative pose showing unshaven armpits and bikini line.

The man is sitting in an armchair with a glass of Scotch.

"What's this?!" stutters the bank manager.

"My wife" says the man. "In banking, Mr Wilson, one should never assume."