MitsuStyle MitsuStyle

Go Back   MitsuStyle > The Homefront! > The Parking Lot - On & Off Topic > Official MitsuStyle.com Topics

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-26-2003   #41
MATCHBX
Any 2 card caller.
 
MATCHBX's Avatar
 
Pinball Smash Up Champion!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Just ahead of the dust
Posts: 1,569
A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. "Nice bike," the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!" The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."

The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop. The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."
__________________
"I'll believe that when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet."

Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.

It's always the second mouse that gets the cheese....

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

Superjealousfragilemisswithsexualneurosis----John Valby
MATCHBX is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2003   #42
Enes
 
Enes's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Blaine
Posts: 2,789
Send a message via ICQ to Enes Send a message via AIM to Enes Send a message via MSN to Enes Send a message via Yahoo to Enes
4x4


The doctor told a man that masturbating before sex often helped men
last
longer during the act.

The man decided, "What the heck, I'll try it."

He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't
do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too
open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally,
he realized his solution. On the way home from work, he pulled his 4X4
over on the side of the highway.

He got out and crawled underneath as if examining the vehicle.
Satisfied
with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate.

He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.

As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at his pants leg. Not
wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut
and replied "What?"

He heard, "This is the police. What in the hell are you doing?"

The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."

The cop says, "Well, you better check your brakes too, because your 4x4
rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."
__________________
Enes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-28-2003   #43
Iceman
 

Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Hopkins
Posts: 564
LOL i liked the 4x4 one. Thats true though you do last longer.
Iceman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-03-2003   #44
MATCHBX
Any 2 card caller.
 
MATCHBX's Avatar
 
Pinball Smash Up Champion!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Just ahead of the dust
Posts: 1,569
The Parrot
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse
vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was
rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude
by consistently saying only polite words, playing
soft music and anything else he could think of to
"clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the
parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the
parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.
John, in desperation threw up his hands, grabbed the
bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes
the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then
suddenly there was total quiet.
Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that
he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door
to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto
John's outstretched arms and said:
"I believe I may have offended you with my rude
language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for
my inappropriate transgressions and verbal tirades.
Forgive me. I fully intend to do everything I can to
correct my rude and abhorrent behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's
attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such
a dramatic
change in his behavior, the bird continued,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
__________________
"I'll believe that when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet."

Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.

It's always the second mouse that gets the cheese....

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

Superjealousfragilemisswithsexualneurosis----John Valby
MATCHBX is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-07-2003   #45
BuildADSM
 

Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Chattanooga TN
Posts: 630
Send a message via AIM to BuildADSM
roflmfao!!!!!!!!
__________________
EVO 7 owner to C5 owner: You go ahead.... I'll catch up.

Slow is better than broke.... but broke is better than nothing.
BuildADSM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-09-2003   #46
Goat Blower
aka Goodbye
 
Goat Blower's Avatar
 
Asteroids Champion! Beach Squirter Champion!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: under the car
Drives: Taylor Made R15
Posts: 7,765
What do K-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common?












They both have boys underwear half off. :censored:
__________________
2009 Corvette Z51-SOLD
1992 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX-SOLD
2013 BMW Z4-Current summer hooptie
2017 GMC Yukon-Current winter hooptie

Goat Blower is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2003   #47
FORSFED
 

Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: White Bear Lake
Posts: 109
When is it bed-time at Micheal Jackson's house???

















When the big hand touches the little hand!
FORSFED is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2003   #48
BuildADSM
 

Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Chattanooga TN
Posts: 630
Send a message via AIM to BuildADSM
What is the difference between Micheal Jackson and a grocery bag?














One is made of plastic and is dangerious for children to play with and the other carrys grocerys.
__________________
EVO 7 owner to C5 owner: You go ahead.... I'll catch up.

Slow is better than broke.... but broke is better than nothing.
BuildADSM is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2003   #49
Jana
Mazda Bitch
 

Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: MN
Posts: 3,208


BTW, moved to joke area
Jana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-10-2003   #50
Goat Blower
aka Goodbye
 
Goat Blower's Avatar
 
Asteroids Champion! Beach Squirter Champion!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: under the car
Drives: Taylor Made R15
Posts: 7,765
Ahh, I was wondering what "humar" was. It's actually humor. :stick:
__________________
2009 Corvette Z51-SOLD
1992 Mitsubishi Eclipse GSX-SOLD
2013 BMW Z4-Current summer hooptie
2017 GMC Yukon-Current winter hooptie

Goat Blower is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-11-2003   #51
AJ
Area code 166 represent
 
AJ's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Crystal, MN
Posts: 10,329
Send a message via AIM to AJ Send a message via Yahoo to AJ
That's the spelling bee champion in me. :headache:
__________________
'16 Focus ST - Daily Duty
'93 mr2 - Track car in progress
AJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-2003   #52
tpunx99GSX
 
tpunx99GSX's Avatar
 
Tournaments Won: 3

Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Maple Grove, MN
Drives: Lancer and Durango
Posts: 7,017
Send a message via ICQ to tpunx99GSX Send a message via AIM to tpunx99GSX Send a message via MSN to tpunx99GSX Send a message via Yahoo to tpunx99GSX
what do you call nuts on a wall?









Wallnuts, what do you call nuts in a chest?













Chestnuts, what do you call nuts on a chin?
















You tell me fag. LOL
__________________
Scientific theories are the most reliable, rigorous, and comprehensive form of scientific knowledge. This is significantly different from the common usage of the word "theory", which implies that something is a conjecture, hypothesis, or guess.
tpunx99GSX is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-15-2003   #53
A//// Guy
 
A//// Guy's Avatar
 
Bloody Seal Bounce Champion!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: South Burbs
Drives: Slowly
Posts: 9,870
Thats soo old.
A//// Guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2003   #54
1QUICK4
Crash Course Racing
 
1QUICK4's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Skid Row
Drives: in circles
Posts: 2,623
Send a message via Yahoo to 1QUICK4
What did R Kelly say to Michael Jackson???



















Got two fives for a ten?
__________________
What the fuck should I 4G6x swap?
1QUICK4 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2003   #55
Jakey
Asshat King
 
Jakey's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Decorah / Ames, Iowa
Posts: 3,683
Send a message via MSN to Jakey
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and as
she lowers it, he says... "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in Wisconsin, and I'm driving the dam SALT TRUCK!
__________________
DSMSTYLE MAFIA - Holdin' Down the Cornfields of IA
'92 Laser RS AWD & '01 Grand Prix GTP

Proud to be a Cyclone

Check it out: Racers Against Street Racing
Jakey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-17-2003   #56
john
Business as usual
 
john's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Isanti, MN
Drives: Dodge Viper and Honda Insight
Posts: 2,206
HA HA HA HA
__________________
97 Viper GTS
03 Mercedes CLK500 rollin on dubs...
john is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-2004   #57
tpunx99GSX
 
tpunx99GSX's Avatar
 
Tournaments Won: 3

Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Maple Grove, MN
Drives: Lancer and Durango
Posts: 7,017
Send a message via ICQ to tpunx99GSX Send a message via AIM to tpunx99GSX Send a message via MSN to tpunx99GSX Send a message via Yahoo to tpunx99GSX
Three men, one German, one Japanese and a
hillbilly were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly
there was a beeping sound. The German pressed his forearm and the
beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my
pager, "he said, "I have a micro chip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted
his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my
mobile phone. I have a micro chip in my hand."
The hillbilly felt decidedly low tech, but not to be outdone he decided
he had to do something just as impressive. He stepped out of the
sauna and went to the bathroom.
He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his behind. The others raised
their eyebrows and stared at him The hillbilly finally said...
"Well, will you look at that, I'm getting a fax.
__________________
Scientific theories are the most reliable, rigorous, and comprehensive form of scientific knowledge. This is significantly different from the common usage of the word "theory", which implies that something is a conjecture, hypothesis, or guess.
tpunx99GSX is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-2004   #58
TheBlizzard
 
TheBlizzard's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Red Wing, MN
Drives: Too Many
Posts: 3,184
Send a message via AIM to TheBlizzard Send a message via MSN to TheBlizzard
Then a guy named Tom says " want me to grab that for you"?
TheBlizzard is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-2004   #59
JiN
 
JiN's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Farmington
Posts: 626
Lol.
__________________
Evil=Anything that can bleed for seven days and not die. Description: Women.
JiN is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-2004   #60
A//// Guy
 
A//// Guy's Avatar
 
Bloody Seal Bounce Champion!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: South Burbs
Drives: Slowly
Posts: 9,870
LOL owned
A//// Guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:56 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.